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I think it might help, in terms of constructive feedback, if you elaborated a bit on why you want to do this But the word survivor almost implies that i endured. In other words, are you looking to evolve your relationship with your mother.

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Forum rules you are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature It simply means that i'm still alive The topics discussed may be triggering to some people

My abuser was a much older man and i was a 10 year old girl

All of the things he did to me, i enjoyed I asked him to tuck me in because i knew what he would do I liked the way he. I'm currently 19 years of age, and my dad is out of state visiting his brother

It's just me and mom in the house I can feel him staring at me thinking sexual things, or i go to sleep knowing he is watching incest porn I have tried to get over it and convince myself it is normal, as he has also. In porn business there seems to be a special affinity to size, either of a woman`s breast or a man`s penis

The performers are especially casted to meet these (producer`s).

This does not make you a sinner This kind of abuse is very complicated due to the many ways it can happen from something mild or suggestive to actual physical abuse attached to. But at minimum, there's porn on the scene and no parent should allow such things to make it into a child's life The 8 year old is also privy to pornography, which indicates either child.

I don't like that word, survivor. it only means that i wasn't killed during the process of the abuse